I'm Not Ready

Sparing details, I have tried my hand at the dating world and it served the purpose of letting me know that I am not ready for that. All I wanted was to get to know other single people, and well, I am not sure how to do that, but I know it isn't as I was trying. I guess I will just let go and let God. I will hope and pray that He will help me to continue to heal and that someday He will provide someone else to love me and for me to love. In the meantime, I need to finish memorializing Mickey. I need to finish his photo album, and I need to plant the memorial garden in the Spring. I need to cry for him more, about him more and write more about my loss. I have been crying for two days. I want to put up more Christmas decorations, but I can't reach most of the stuff that he used to reach. That made me cry. I miss him and I want him here. I don't want to do any of this alone. I am more alone all the time, and it will keep getting that way because every one is going a different direction and will continue spreading out and getting busy in their own lives and I will spend a lot of nights alone here. I hate that. I would really like to have some single friends that don't have spouses or significant others to have to be devoted to. To be able to go out and hang out a couple of times a month with other people like me would be nice. However, I don't see that happening because I don't know any 20-early 30-something single people with or without children. I don't even know where to meet people or even where to go. I don't know how to do this because I never have. School...I will keep myself busy with school and take joy in my boys and my family. It will be nice when everyone is home at Christmas time. So, if anyone has anything to do, ever want someone to go to the movies with, shopping with, having a party, think of me so that I can be just Katie sometimes.