The Journey Through Grief of a Young Widowed Mom

My grief journey after losing my husband of six and a half years. I am 27, and he would have been 28, in September 2006. We have three little boys, 6, 4, and 2.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Feeling Better/Christmas

I am feeling better, so that is good. The boys were watching a Holly Hobby movie today and it was a Christmas movie. The focus of the movie was a lady with two little boys who had lost her husband the summer before and how the children worked together to make Christmas better for them. They helped hang up decorations, bought the boys presents, took the boys out to play, etc. The mom didn't want to accept anything at first because she didn't want to accept Christmas without her husband, but she finally realized that life goes on, especially with the two little boys.

That was interesting for me to watch.

Life keeps going on despite tragedy. That is way it works, and the way it will always work. Little boys don't have the same hook ups, same emotional baggage or the capacity to worry about the future, because all they know is that they are being taken care of, that they are loved and that everything is okay. That is God really wants all of us to be, but it is hard to do.

I don't have a lot of Christmas spirit this year. I didn't get anywhere near the decorations up as I usually do. Just don't feel so Christmasy. I am feeling sad about Christmas being over already because of the hype leading up to Christmas goes away Christman night, and it shouldn't. I wish we celebrated Christ more, I wish there were more events surrounding the celebration of Him. I know that I will read the boys the Christmas story. I tried to find videos about the real Christmas, but they don't carry those things at Meijer or Walmart. Maybe online. For those who don't know already...I told James that there is no Santa Claus. I know that will seem like a huge thing to some people and a squashing of childhood spirit, but it isn't. James is very logical and said that he understood because how could Santa Claus fit down the chimney anyway, and that he had been with me buying presents before. He's very logical. I didn't believe in Santa Claus when I was his age. My reason for doing this is to refocus our family on CHRISTmas I want my boys to understand what it is really about, and not our cultures tendency to rename it the Holidays, and the Holiday tree, and Holiday presents. It is a HOLYday, and it should be kept that way, and I have chosen to make the steps to ensure that my children understand that.

I would love to do more with other people around Christmas, but I'm not up to throwing a party. I think everyone else should and invite me :) I can't wait for baby Faith either. That will be so nice to have my niece. I hope she makes it before Christmas.


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